So here goes, confession time. DH's birthday is just around the corner. (So is Charlotte's 1st, and our 5th anniversary.) I have been asking him what he wants for a party, was thinking a bowling night out, since he loves bowling and we never go. He came home from work yesterday and stated that he figured out what he wanted for his birthday. Two dates with me, sans baby.
So, not a big deal, right? Kind of nice, huh? Well, my heart kind of stopped and I felt really anxious. The only place I have left Charlotte is in the nursery at church and this is under the clause of "as soon as she starts crying come and get me"! Bless the ladies who work in the nursery, because they totally respect that and don't make her "cry it out". (Which some people do, I'm not saying it's wrong, just not for us.)
I babysat a kid once who was 2 1/2 - 3 years old, his parents were going on a date for the first time since he was born. I think I was in uni at the time, probably 19 years old? I told myself, I would NEVER be like that, my hubby and I would be going on dates like crazy, right? I would be so comfortable leaving my baby.... because I just would!
It's not that I don't value my husband, or our marriage. Some of my most relaxing moments of the day are at 10 pm, with a small snack, curling up on the sofa to watch the latest "So you think you can dance" and snuggle for a few minutes before we both drift off.
It's just..... I value attachment parenting. For us, that means nursing Charlotte on demand. Responding to her every need as soon as she has one. Trying to respond to her toileting needs as well (which is more difficult than anticipated... another post for another time). Carrying her in a sling... a lot. Co-sleeping when necessary (usually around 4:30 - 5 in the morning). Nursing her when she wakes up in the night (usually multiple times). And not being stressed about it. Going with her flow.
My struggle is combining this type of relationship I have with my daughter with hot dates SANS daughter. And we do go on "dates". Just with her! We went out to the pub after church for lunch, just last Sunday. I thought all was well in the "date" department. Not so (according to DH). And then I watched "Do you have a date night?" by the Momversation ladies. And the guilt set in. Date night is a N-E-C-E-S-S-I-T-Y according to these ladies. And probably according to most married couples.
What do YOU do? How to reconcile babe + hot date with hubby? I need to figure this out, as I said before, DH's birthday is just around the corner and I would be nice to surprise him with a planned night out.